It’s easy to mess up the magic of an interactive bodywork session, as I outlined in my last blog entry.
The good news is that sharing exquisite sensual touch can be simple (if not easy!), if you follow these tried-and-true pathways to pleasure. I recommend that you use these skills in sessions with service providers as well as any sensual encounter in which you want a deeply satisfying connection to yourself and the other person.
1. Breathe. Synchronize your breath to your partner’s to more easily find connection, shared rhythm and attunement. Conscious deep breathing also opens you to increased sensation, allowing you to focus on your body rather than your thoughts, which makes it easier to stay in your pleasure.
2. Slow down. The slower you move in offering touch, the easier it is for the receiver to take in the sensations they’re feeling. Slow touch also takes less effort give, so you’re less likely to fall into the trap of ‘working hard’ to turn someone else on. Slow also movements give your partner time to adjust or make requests. Follow the lead of your bodyworker -- if she’s moving very slowly, do the same.
3. Go Light. Less is more when it comes to pressure in sensual touch. Like going slow, feather light touch awakens the body to sensation, increasing arousal and pleasure. A caveat: light touch may feel ticklish at times, especially if arousal is low or anxiety is high. If you notice your partner is squirming or moving away from light touch, then come stillness and switch to deeper, firmer touch. This can ground your connection like rocks around a fire, providing a safe container for the spark to fly.
4. Follow the moans. Asking the question, “would you like me to adjust my touch in any way?” is a great straightforward way to stay in the zone of shared pleasure. But you can also receive instant non-verbal feedback by listening for moans, sighs or sounds of pleasure. Use the sounds to guide your touch. If you aren’t hearing any sounds, I often recommend coming to stillness and doing a verbal check-in. Stillness gives your partner a chance to connect with themselves so that they can make the juiciest, clearest requests.
5. Spiral in. Start with touch on less intimate areas of the body (back, legs, hands). If you are hearing sounds of pleasure that may be a sign to gradually move to more intimate areas, checking as you go if the sounds of pleasure increase or decrease.
6. Find the pleasure in your hands. Bring your awareness to the sensation in your hands and the pleasure you are feeling in offering touch. Move your hands touch in ways that feel good to you. This will both heighten your awareness of your pleasure through touch and will also help your hands relax, which will feel better to the person receiving your touch.
These are my favourite pathways to pleasure to connection. If you know any other tips, please in the comments!