Clients often arrive at my studio for a first time sensual bodywork session feeling curious, excited and very, very anxious.
This is perfectly normal. If I were coming to a new place with a person I'd never met, to get undressed and have a sensual experience, I would be nervous too. That's a lot of unknowns and newness and anxiety understandably arises when we don't know what comes next.
Part of the reason that you're reading this blog right now is probably to try to gain more information, lessen the unknowns and gain a sense of security before taking the risk of booking. I applaud your excellent sensual risk management skills!
When I first started offering sensual massage, I would sometimes make myself anxious when people would say they'd feel anxious, thinking I had to do something to change the way you were feeling.
But I don't anymore, because I quickly discovered that people who say they are feeling anxiety before a session are usually the most alive, erotic and engaged sensual people. Also, these clients often experience the greatest transformation and shifts of energy through sensual touch, leaving the studio feeling remarkably calm and joyful.
This is why I now find anxiety extremely sexy.
If you feel anxious and come for sensual bodywork anyway, what that means to me is you are willing to tolerate a high level of excitement, risk and aliveness in your life. You may have felt terrified to book a sensual bodywork session and you did it anyway because your longing for erotic aliveness, touch, connection is stronger than your fear. That is very sexy.
You could have taken that fear of booking a session and just decided to push it away, staying in your comfort zone and numb yourself with depression, social media, netflix, booze, food, work and buying stuff on amazon. Instead, you embraced the unknown, risked discomfort and took a step towards a more exciting (and anxiety-provoking!) life.
Anxiety is really just excitement with a PR problem.
Physiologically our bodies are experiencing the same arousal of our sympathetic nervous system when we're anxious as when we are excited. In both states, our pupils dilate, our hearts beat faster, our temperature rises and we feel butterflies in our stomach. Recent studies by Harvard Business School found that, compared to those who attempt to calm down, individuals who re-label anxiety as 'excitement' feel and preform better at anxiety-provoking tasks.
So, I don't try to 'get rid' of anyone's anxiety before a sensual bodywork session. Instead, I use deep breathing, loving presence and touch to make space for your anxiety to be felt as excitement. Over and over, I have seen that attentive sensual touch invites very anxious, tightly held, controlled people to expand, soften and vibrate into wild sensual beasts. What could be sexier than this type of transformation?